The New Recruits
by DarkPrincess128
Summary: The Dawn Brigade has been experiencing a lot of losses in their soldiers lately, so Micaiah gets new recruits...but not the expected kind. Read A/N before reading, please.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem or its characters.**

**A/N: Hmm. How do I explain this…this is my first and probably last story involving the Dawn Brigade. This is kind of a parody of them. Basically, this kind of emphasizes how much I hate the Dawn Brigade, and how I think they're a lot weaker when compared to, say, the Greil Mercenaries. So if you are a huge pro-Dawn-Brigade reader, just leave. I don't want flames. If you are a pro-Dawn-Brigade reader and can take a joke, then keep reading if you wish. Enjoy.**

Sothe grumbled as he remembered his loyalty to Micaiah. Sometimes he wondered why he still had it, especially at times like this.

The Dawn Brigade had suffered major losses lately. Soldiers died en masse, and some just up and left because they felt the company was "weak." Sothe hadn't exactly considered doing the same, but he could feel their pain and empathize with their reasoning. He loved Micaiah, but she wasn't exactly the best commander.

And now, the Dawn Brigade needed some new recruits.

Unfortunately, everybody knew of people leaving the company and their reasons for doing so. They weren't exactly jumping at the opportunity. This led to Micaiah having to make a rather…desperate decision that probably wouldn't work in the end.

In other words, Micaiah recruited horses. As warriors.

Sothe remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. Because it was yesterday.

"_Micaiah. You know I will stay with you even through this foolish decision, but are you completely out of your mind!? How could this even work?"_

"_Somebody would need to teach the horses how to fight…"_

"_They're not laguz, Micaiah. They can't magically learn how to do that. Horses are meant to be ridden and nothing but. What are we going to do, put a sword in their hoof and say 'Here, go fight Begnion'?"_

"_Sothe…Please bear with me here. This is the last idea I have. Unless you can think of something else."_

"…"

"_Yes, we will need to teach them how to fight. But it could work in the end, right?"_

"_Micaiah…"_

"_Sothe. I'm sure you know what I'm about to ask you."_

And he had. Which is why he was here, at this moment, going to a stable full of horses ranging from all ages, that didn't know the difference from a sword to a tome. This was ridiculous, but he had to follow orders. For multiple reasons. There was a huge fight tomorrow, and the horses just came today.

"Alright, listen up!" Sothe approached the stable. "Micaiah gave me orders to train you. For battle. Tomorrow. Even though you probably have no idea what I'm saying right now. So…your main attacks will be kicking and biting, because you are unable to hold weaponry or cast spells upon our foes. Understood?"

The horses did not respond. Most were looking around at things besides the rambling man in green hair.

Sothe entered the stable and took one horse outside of it, figuring that there would be much more room for "training" outside of the boxed in area.

When he brought it outside, the horse stood there for a minute, looking dazily around. It looked at Sothe's irritated face, looked out to the forest, and started galloping – more like sprinting – away, into the forest and away from the agitated soldier.

"You! Come back!" Though he knew it was in vain. Sothe sighed heavily and wondered if every horse he brought out of the stable was going to do that. He decided to just screw it and train them inside the stable, though room would be limited.

"Okay, you." He brought a different horse out, and took out his knife. "We're in battle against each other. Come at me."

The horse glanced down and started eating the ground.

It was going to be a long day.

---

Night had passed. It was dawn now, and the few soldiers rose up to prepare for their battle, Sothe being one of them. He had spent all yesterday and last night trying to train these horses for a battle they would lose anyway. He was, at this moment, the epitome of pessimism. The horses would do anything but cooperate with him, yet he did get one to kick him in the place where it hurts, after yelling at it profusely. Besides that, nothing he did worked. Worse yet, the soldiers in this battle would do nothing to prevent battle. All those innocent horses would die for no good reason. Horrible. No wonder all those left the Dawn Brigade. All they were were a bunch of horse slayers.

They marched on to the battlesite and began, with all their horses and the few soldiers. The Begnion Army looked confused. Sothe could overhear some soldiers talking about them, saying they were perfectly ready to tear down the horses without mercy. Talking about how pathetic the army was, how desperate, how the commander must be mentally ill. Or how perhaps the army was too poor to afford real men. Sothe was too angry to fight back at the horrible people.

The battle hadn't even began yet when suddenly, a call rang out throughout the field. "Retreat." It was amused, the voice. It was laughing. "We have better things to do."

"What's going on?" Sothe asked Micaiah.

"I think they were rather afraid of our frightening army. That's all."

**A/N: I know this is short, but since it's somewhat of a crackfic, it's not supposed to be serious and drawn-out. I'm referring to it as a crackfic because it's my excuse for any OOC-ness in this story :D. Yo, thanks for reading and please review!**


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